mission: impossible, ranked

i need you to trust me. one last time.

The only time I’ve ever written into a podcast it was read on air. I was in an Uber coming home from my bartending gig and a few blocks from my house I heard my name. “Liz from San Francisco writes…” I was equal parts mortified and thrilled. They had found my response compelling enough to read on air! Images of an alternate life flashed before me, in which the podcasts hosts personally reached out to me and proposed a life-changing multi-million dollar Spotify contract. Because of my influence, John Waters would get the funding he needs for his next film, and I’d get AMC to stop playing THREE of their own fucking ads back-to-back before every movie.

All of this came crashing down when I got home and played my Podcast Debut to Carlos. It’s sobering to watch your partner get the Ick right in front of you. The podcast question I was responding to? “Would you rather only watch the first four Mission: Impossible entries for the rest of your life, or the last three?” For the uninitiated, this may seem like a numbers game. I’d rather have four movies than three to watch over and over. But for those of us familiar with the franchise, we know that each of the first four M:I’s were directed by four different auteurs. That’s four unique (if flawed) takes on what could be a conventional action franchise. The last three were all very competently directed by Christopher McQuarrie, the award-winning writer of The Usual Suspects and not much else until he began working almost exclusively with Tom Cruise. I had grown up with the M:I franchise, and was partial to the frenetic if incoherent earlier films. Plus, you have Phillip Seymour Hoffman in M:I III! I said this (and more) in my response. As other responses were read on the podcast, I began to realize why my answer was selected: I was in the minority. A quick glance at the Letterboxd ratings reveals what my heart wasn’t ready for at the time: the ratings for the first four films averages to 3.4/5. The final three average to 3.8/5. And after a full franchise rewatch over the last month, I think I’m ready to change my tune.

So here it is. My official ranking of a beloved American action franchise. Why should you trust me? I have a brother named Ethan, after our favorite IMF agent. I was insatiably smitten with Tom Cruise growing up- a large cardboard cutout of Tom Cruise’s face lived on a chair in my bedroom for an unreasonably long time in middle school, and my friends got me a Maverick poster as a goodbye present when I left L.A. I’ve spent many years staring at this guy’s charmingly asymmetrical smile. My parents saw Dead Reckoning three times in theaters, after three different children asked if they’d like to see it with them. These films are dear to me, but I will do my best to offer an unbiased if imperfect reflection as we prepare to close the book on a story twenty years in the making.

7. Mission: Impossible 2

Dir. John Woo (2000)

This is the only Mission: Impossible film I think is actively bad. There’s some crazy motorcycle work (particularly in the third act) that ensures the action is sufficiently anxiety-inducing, but the story itself falls flat. It also feels somehow outside of the Mission: Impossible universe- the Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible 2 is not the Ethan Hunt we know and love from the other films. He is horny. MI:2 is sandwiched between 1999’s Magnolia and Eyes Wide Shut and 2001’s Vanilla Sky which seem to be Cruise’s final (unhinged) entries into Horny Cinema. I watch those three films and love his vile, pathetic, vulnerable, comedic takes on sexuality (and playing into his own sexualized persona of the nineties). But it doesn’t ring true to me in MI:2. Ethan Hunt is a man who puts his team first, mission second. He does not have time to make jokes about who’s on top and pass breezy afternoons in bed with Thandiwe Newton. Look, I love watching hot people kiss as much as the next guy. But this film chooses to paint Hunt as an almost Bond-like character: suave, unbearably cool, womanizing. It reads as surface-level, already been done. I’m bored! Can you imagine if the studio went with Woo’s intitial 3.5 hour cut? Just watch the Limp Bizkit music video, it’s really the only Important Cultural Touchstone to come out of the 2000 film.

6. Mission: Impossible

Dir. Brian De Palma (1996)

I should say that from here on, I love all of these movies. Putting the first Mission: Impossible at six doesn’t mean that I dislike it; it just means that the films just got that much better once they honed in on the character motivations set up here. This has got to be the most Auteur action flick ever made- it certainly has the most flashy cinematography of the franchise. Summed up succinctly here:

thanks to my two fans <3

My friend Phillip recently rewatched it and I agree with his sentiments that the auteurism actually gets in the way of the action a little bit- of course there is nothing better than the famous scene with Ethan suspended in the CIA midair, a single bead of sweat threatening to blow his entire cover. But the Dutch angles, intended to destabilize the viewer, do so a little too well. The effect leaves a kind nightmarish haze over the unfolding action that some moments felt more like a fever dream than Real Stakes.

5. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning

Dir. Christopher McQuarrie (2023)

Clocking in at a whopping 184 minutes, this is the franchise’s longest entry- shocking when it was initially announced as a “part one”. My problem with the film isn’t the runtime. I think it mostly flows from one great setpiece to the next. (Carlos, who saw it begrudgingly with me in theaters, disagrees). There’s great bits of physical comedy peppered throughout, a staple of the franchise at this point. I love the moment during the car chase in Rome where Cruise and Atwell are a mess of tangled limbs due to the handcuffs linking them together. When their tiny yellow car somersaults down the steps and they find themselves magically untangled, the actors give allow themselves a moment to appreciate the dumb luck before jumping back into the action. It plays perfectly, and serves to reiterate a point the franchise continually drives home: yes, Ethan and his team are incredibly good at what they do. But the universe seems to hell-bent on ensuring Hunt has what he needs to complete his mission.

And I loved ambiguous villain “The Entity” which seems to be a stand-in for AI. It’s a villain that feels immediate and insurmountable in this day and age, and I respect the McQuarrie’s and Cruise’s decision to turn the threat it holds over their industry into a very good action movie.

My problem might seem small, but it lies in the choice to kill off Rebecca Ferguson’s Ilsa Faust. She is Ethan’s match in every way, whether she’s working for or against him. The chemistry they share is more than sexual; there’s an innate camaraderie, an understanding that Ethan has never before been able to have with another person. Haley Atwell just didn’t cut it for me as the new female sidekick in Dead Reckoning, and I know I’ll feel the loss of Ferguson’s unique presence in Final Reckoning.

4. Mission: Impossible III

Dir. J.J. Abrams (2006)

I’ve seen the intro to this movie one million times. No villain is more menacing in this franchise than the late, great Phillip Seymour Hoffman. The high-contrast color and shaky camerawork give it almost a music video feel, heightening an already impossibly tense scenario in which Hunt must either give up his mission or kill the woman he loves. And the woman he loves is Michelle Monaghan, an adorable, freckle-faced nurse who married Hunt unaware of the heroic alternate life he leads. This is the only film where we see Hunt attempt to balance a civilian lifestyle with his more… unconventional day job. It was my favorite for a long time because of this. I loved that Abrams devoted a chunk of the movie to building Ethan out as a man rather than simply an agent. It enriches this film, and sets us up for choices Ethan makes later in the franchise. Though Ethan is ultimately unable to lead both lives, it shows us that the desire for human experience was there. He’s not just an adrenaline junkie with a robotic impulse to complete the mission at all costs- he has a vested interest in seeing the world become a better place. For his loved ones.

In addition to getting one of my favorite PSH performances, M:I III also introduces us to Simon Pegg, who eventually becomes a field agent and one of Ethan’s closest friends. Pegg becomes the perfect audience surrogate, resigned to sweating profusely as Ethan hangs off the edge of a building after failing to talk Ethan down from one of his crazy plans.

Sorry to traumatize if you don’t remember this, but this image of Keri Russell’s brain frying early in the film haunts me to this day.

i sent this to my sister thinking she’d remember and she was like liz wtf is that… lmao

3. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

Dir. Christopher McQuarrie (2015)

The first entry into the McQuarrie-directed films is immediately self-assured. This marks the first film where we get any substantial details carrying over from the previous story, which is probably because McQuarrie had a hand in rewriting Ghost Protocol and was able to plant seeds for plotlines he was interested in pursuing later. When the government disavows the IMF and forces Ethan to go rogue in pursuit of a dangerous terrorist organization, the loyalty of his team is solidified and the stakes grow even more direr. I love that this one gives us a peek into the bureaucracy of espionage- Renner spends a chunk of this just arguing with CIA director Alec Baldwin about whether or not Ethan should be allowed to do what he’s doing while Ethan just does it.

This is our first introduction to Ilsa Faust, played by Rebecca Ferguson. She is beautiful but that’s beside the point; Faust is an incredible agent with ambiguous motives… and it appears that Ethan has finally met his match. She keeps us on our toes the entire movie, saving Ethan only to put him in harm’s way later. Their chemistry is electrifying, far and away the most captivating of the franchise. When Faust lays out Ethan’s options, proposing they abandon their mission and run away together, you almost want him to say yes. I don’t know about you but I’d watch a movie in which your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to say yes to the dress.

2. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

Dir. Brad Bird (2011)

Ghost Protocol- or “Ghost Prot” as I affectionately call it- is my most watched of the franchise. I love the opening scene: Tom Cruise in a slutty tank top breaking out of a Russian jail with a bumbling criminal, inciting a prison riot, and menacingly wagging his fist at a stressed-out Simon Pegg who just wants to keep his cool new job? It never gets old! We get a villainous Lea Seydoux in this one as well, looking seductively sociopathic whilst ensuring not one strand of her perfect fringe is out of place as she beats the shit out of Paula Patton. It’s Ethan’s team against the world here (even their own government has disavowed them, hence “ghost protocol”), and I think this is precisely why the franchise starts to really find its footing. Mission: Impossible is, at its core, about an agent (Hunt) who lost his team one time and is haunted forever by their ghosts. Ghost Protocol is the first film where we begin to emotionally connect with the other members of his team- Patton’s lover was assassinated by Seydoux, so we have catharsis in seeing Seydoux meet her fate. Jeremy Renner’s character- an “analyst” who finds himself in the field with Ethan after they’re disavowed, might know Ethan more intimately than he intitially lets on. It makes sense that Renner’s character is more fully fleshed out here- he was intended to take over the franchise as producers sought to inject the series with new blood and trendier stars. But you can’t deny the star power of Cruise, especially as he hones in on his character here. It also helps that he is insane and does all of his own stunts, which McQuarrie is more than willing to embrace in the following films.

1. Mission: Impossible - Fallout

Dir. Christopher McQuarrie (2018)

I mean this is just the one. The action, the fake outs, the masks. Henry Cavill thinking he’s so much better than Tom Cruise makes me so mad. Cruise letting himself be short around Cavill just shows you how much cooler Hunt really is. Something about it reminded me a little of John Wick (maybe it was the bathroom fight in suits at a rave) in a way that really worked for me! Every setpiece dials the action to 100 without losing sight of our core characters, including bringing Ethan’s wife Julia back into the action in the unbearably tense final act. The bond that our characters share has been tested by their missions, their enemies, their own government. But nothing is more important to Hunt than their livelihood, and that last act is injected with so much history and meaning that the plutonium threatening to destroy the world almost doesn’t matter anymore (almost). It’s simply one of the best action movies ever made!

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I tear up every time I see the Final Reckoning trailer in theaters. It’s quiet for an action trailer. It asks you to lean forward (an almost impossible task in AMC recliners) and lock the fuck in. The reviews I’ve seen so far are mixed but I can guarantee you that I will be shedding tears no matter what happens because that’s the magic of the movies and that’s the magic of movie star Tom Cruise.